A conversation with Laura Kaczmarek, Alex White, Steffi Wolter, Ianire Elorriaga, Zeta Rush, Karen Jonz, Eider Paredes and Marta Guillén about motherhood and skateboarding.

Words: Letícia Nogueira

Eider, Marta and Alana. Photo: Mumsonfilm

“When I got pregnant, I started thinking about pro skater mums and I couldn’t really find one. I wondered why…” Laura Kaczmarek, sick skater and photographer, recently became a mum, and she wasn't the only one. Many skateboarders around the world - like Alex White, Steffi Wolter, Ianire Elorriaga, Zeta Rush, Karen Jonz, Eider Paredes and Marta Guillén - have embarked on the great adventure of motherhood.

All stages of life are beautiful and sacred in relevance, but motherhood must be something else. Skateboarding seems like a perfect medium to teach things like perseverance, getting up after falling, facing fears and the importance of community… So what kind of role can skateboarding play in parenting, and are skate mums eager to pass this lifestyle on to their kids? Believing the opinions and experiences on this subject can be dividing and diverse, we chatted with these skate legends to find out and explore what being a skate mum can look like.

Laura Kaczkmarec, Powerslide. Photo by Zeliha Cambaz

So, do you want your kids to be skaters? Are you passing your love for skating on to them or will you let them find out for themselves?

Alex White: My kids are 9 and 13 years old now so they’ve really grown up around skateboarding and have the coolest skate aunties. I was dragging them around to big events like X Games and Wheels of Fortune before they even really understood what was going on. I would love for them to be skaters too but they seem to only show a moderate interest in it.

Steffi Wolter: It’s a yes and no at the same time. I love skateboarding and its effect on me and my mood, the feeling of freedom, the global friendships and travel… On the other hand, there are the injuries, the weird places you crush couches, the trivialization of drugs. I let my daughter decide: I always tell her when I go skating, but I never push that she should try or has to come. She knows and if she wants to accompany me, she will let me know, I guess. She did ask a couple of times. She loves flinta sessions! I dream about a flinta skate session where all skate mums bring the kids and have a good time, whether it’s on or off the board. 

Ianire Elorriaga: Personally, I would love it if my kids were skaters, but I believe they’re the ones in charge of choosing if they want to do it or not. I give them the necessary means for them to experience skateboarding: I take them to the skatepark so they see me skate and skate themselves, I tell them what skating means to me and so on… but they’re the main characters of their own lives and it’s up to them to tread their own path. I think the most important thing at an early age is to give all kinds of activities a try, so they can choose what truly fulfils them in the future.

Karen Jonz: Before she was born, I wanted so much to have a kid that skated, and I was sure I would. But every time we’d go skate, she wanted to draw with crayons in the skate park, play with her dolls on the board - everything but skate. She told me one day that she doesn't enjoy skating, because she hates being told what to do and adults are always bossing her around when she’s skating. It's sooo true and I totally get her. I started skating because it was the one thing where I could be myself. I used to do other sports and all of them had coaches and obligations, all of them but skateboarding, and that was one of the reasons it got me hooked.

How useful do you think skateboarding can be as an educational tool?

Alex: Skateboarding instils a lot of grit and perseverance in kids, tools they will really need to survive in this world. Plus, they live in a world of instant gratification, on demand entertainment and skateboarding is the opposite of that. It is good to face a challenge where the payoff is delayed and it requires you to work so hard to succeed.

Eider and Marta: Skateboarding conveys many values such as friendship, companionship, culturally speaking you know many places… Learning to skate isn’t easy, but it teaches you perseverance and effort for what you want and that can be useful for life in general.

Steffi Wolter, Fs Boardslide on the cover of Kingpin Magazine 20+ years ago, the first time a woman got the cover of a reputable skate mag in Europe.

Photo: Ingo Sch äder

Is it okay to skate while pregnant? Physically, when is it possible to skate again?

Alex: I believe in bodily autonomy. People can do whatever they want, skate whatever they want however long they want. For me personally, I didn’t skate much past week 20 when I was pregnant because it was uncomfortable.

Steffi: I think this is a very personal decision. I guess a hard bail is always a risk. The question you have to ask yourself is: Could I live with the consequences or not? Also, the question of being able to get back on board is very individual: I think it is possible to be back after 3 or 4 months, but carefully and with special “regression” training, as the pelvic floor and other muscles are still very soft and extended. So to be transparent: you will pee a bit when landing a trick… probably for a couple weeks or months. And you need to train hard, as your abdominal muscles are super extended and you have no core strength!

Zeta: Yes, totally fine, I was encouraged to by my midwife. I think I stopped around 5 months, I took a slam to the belly and it freaked me out a bit. However, I will say that Oscar is pretty crazy and has no fear and I wonder if I pumped him with too much adrenaline when he was developing and now he’s hooked! After Oscar was born I skated again after 5 weeks. I couldn’t skate switch for a while, my balance was so off but generally since Oscar was born I’ve felt better physically than ever before. I think having a few months off lets all the lingering injuries heal up properly. 

Karen: I think it took me like 2 years to feel like: okay, I can do this, and I think she was around 6 when I felt like I was really back on my board with more consistency. And now I have so much disposition and energy I can't even believe it!

Zeta Rush, Boardslide at the Natural History Museum. Photo: Reece Leung

How has motherhood changed your skating? Do you feel fear or respect differently?

Alex: I’ve dialled it back a lot. I really used to love high consequence skating like rails and stairs and stuff but in 2022 I suffered a bad head injury on the Roll of Their Own tour I organised with a bunch of pros from NHS. That one scared me and since then I’ve been much more calculated about taking risks.

Steffi: It changed, definitely. Your whole life and attitude changes, as you have someone who REALLY depends on you. And you will love this little human being more than anything else, even yourself. So you will try not to get hurt or do something that may cause this little human to suffer. I changed my mindset and really asked myself if this is worth it now or not - and I decided to chill and skate with fun most of the time rather than bring myself to the edge. Well, I’m 43 now and Alva was born when I was 37…so it was a bit different than in my 20s.

Ianire: I think I feel more respect towards it and I started skating differently before even becoming a mother. You grow older and don’t want to get injured. In my case, being a mother didn’t influence this.

Eider and Marta: Our skating has probably changed a bit, nowadays we can't take risks as much as before. Also, we don't have as much time to go and skate as we used to, because parenting takes up a lot of our time. But we love to share those moments with friends and for her to be a part of it, for her to see that anything is possible if you try. So it is important that she sees our effort when it comes to skating and that she knows that sometimes we fall, but we get up again and keep going, and that if it happens we are always there to help each other.

Zeta: I skate more intensely now, I’ll have an hour or two to myself so I skate non stop, I don't have much time for standing around and chatting. I get out as early as I can as it’s when I have the most energy. I also think I’m gnarlier than I used to be, probably because I’m less consistent so I will try easier tricks at gnarlier spots! 

Karen: I’m more aware of my body and less sketchy than I used to be. Mostly because I'm older and I don't want to get hurt. Also, I think it made me more assertive, I feel like I don’t have much time to waste. 

How has motherhood changed your worldview?

Alex: I have my priorities much better aligned. Honestly I used to have a lot of existential crises going on in my brain and now I'm just like, food, water, shelter, love and support is all that matters. Also, I think the world can be a very sad and bleak place with so much suffering and destruction going on around us. When you have kids you are invested in making the world a better place for them and their generation. There is no tapping out or being nihilistic about the future, you have to act.

Steffi: Well, you ask yourself what you could do better to leave this planet a bit “not so worse” than it looks like right now, actually. I truly believe that women (no matter if with or without kids) are better leaders. So we have to make sure women get their space and time to shine. The world should be ruled by women only, to put it really simple.

Ianire: When you’re a mum, you step into a secondary plan and your only preoccupation is the well-being of the little ones. Your routines and rhythm of life change and you feel unconditional love towards your kids. Still, I try not to lose track of the little girl I once was and continue skating, doing other sports and enjoying life with my friends.

Eider and Marta: It has changed a lot. Above all, our priorities are totally different, we try to spend as much time with her as possible, for work not to take up as much time as it did before. Life is simpler now, we care about the little details, the little moments of the three of us together. She’s now in a stage of constant learning and we want to be present in all of those moments. So we have left behind some things that we thought were important before, but didn’t give us what motherhood does. We’re also much more affected by the injustices of life now, wars, hunger in some parts of the world… Now that we’re mothers, all of that makes us think how lucky we are in some ways, to have each other as a family and the love that we share and try to show Alana.

Zeta: It has definitely made me more anxious. It’s hard to not spend hours worrying about what kind of world you’ve brought them into. 

Karen: I never felt so tired as I did when I was pregnant. So I slowed down a lot - and that was very good for me.  Also, now, I have something bigger than skateboarding. Skating always came first to me, before health, money, friendships or boyfriends. I'm very glad that changed, because it definitely wasn’t healthy to be that obsessed. 

Ianire Elorriaga, Bs Kickflip. Photo: Alex Braza

What values do you absolutely want to pass on to your kids and the next generations?

Alex: Approach life’s challenges with curiosity, hard work and humility and you will always succeed.

Steffi: Self-Determination, empathy, to value freedom and protect it for everyone.

Ianire: I’d like them to be respectful, generous and empathetic, in a couple of words, good people. I’d like to teach them to enjoy life whilst being responsible, for I don’t envision happiness without responsibility. And another value I’d like to pass on to them is patience. Lately, it seems like we want everything instantly, and that can breed serious problems.

Laura: Having respect, being thankful, helping others and staying humble.

Eider and Marta: Love most of all, respect for everyone and for herself, that she loves herself for who she is and how she is. We believe that with more love and respect we would have a better world, so if she simply learns that, we will be happy.

Any tips for future skate mums?

Alex: Kids aren’t the end of your life. I see a lot of people postpone having kids because they have this bucket list of stuff they wanna do on their own before they have kids. But in reality you realise that kids are a rich addition to your already full life and you will be able to do things on your own again once you get out of baby-mode. You will find out you are so much more capable than you ever imagined.

Steffi:  If you have the chance to build friends and fam around your parenthood: DO IT!

Ianire: I’d say just be yourself - you’re doing it your way and you’re definitely doing it well.

Laura: Be prepared, don't overthink, everything will be completely different than you expected anyway. 

Zeta: Be selfish, it’s so easy to put everyone above yourself and to make excuses to not go and skate, but they’ll be fine without you. This took me 6 years to feel ok about.

Karen: I remember texting Lyn-Z Pastrana when I found out about my pregnancy, because she was the only competitive female skater mum that I knew. She said: stay active as much as you can, it's gonna be easier to come back - that was really good advice. Ask for help if you need it. Don't worry about getting back super fast, it will come. Do the best you can, try to have fun. Have a support network: family, friends, pay someone if you can. Share responsibilities with the father if he’s available. Talk to people. Now there are a bunch of skate mums that can help you out with a chat, confort, tips, stories… and remember, all paths are different. Don't compare yourself. Use exemples to make it easy for you to understand and overcome difficulties, but write your own beautiful story. 

Steffi Wolter, Nollie Heelflip. Photo: Helge Tscharn

 

Single Mums

“My kids’ dad left due to drug addiction disorder about 8 years ago so I’ve been solo parenting since they were like 6 and 3 years old.” We asked Alex White, legendary 2000s pro skater from California, what it is like to raise kids on her own.

Alex White, Fs Lipslide. Photo: Adrián Jiménez Castillo

“My kids had to grow up quick without a father and we all have scars from the trauma. For them it's a lot worse than for me, I just lost a partner. They lost their dad. That is the hardest part, just knowing the sadness in their hearts from that and trying to do my best to love and remind them I am not going anywhere. I joke with them “You’re never going to get rid of me! I’m going to follow you around your entire life even when you’re all grown up!”

According to Alex though, there’s a silver lining to solo parenting. “Personally, I think being a single parent is amazing. I do not want to co-parent with anyone. I like that all the decisions and responsibility lies with me. I function better like this, just being in charge of everything. I am not trying to be their father and their mother, I am just their mother and I am good enough.”

Alex White and fam at WOF.

 

Gay Mums

“There are many types of families, making them known is very important in the world we live in, especially in the skateboarding world where there is still a lot of inequality.” Eider Paredes and Marta Guillén, skaters and videographers from Barcelona, shared their story as a lesbian couple.

Eider and Marta had Alana through a process known as the ROPA method.

Photo: Mumsonfilm

“It was clear for us from the moment we met that we wanted to be mums. We did wait a long time because of work, housing, life in general and how complicated it is to combine motherhood with work life. We were looking for information, visiting clinics and then decided to go ahead with the process.”

This process of shared motherhood is known as the ROPA method and is used by couples who both have female reproductive organs. Using in vitro fertilisation, the eggs are removed from one partner's ovaries, fertilised in a lab, and the resulting embryos are placed in the other partner’s uterus, who carries the pregnancy. Thus both partners get to be biological parents.

“We’re very happy with the decision we made: we have a beautiful girl, Alana. We’re doing everything we can to be mumpreneurs and to be present at each and every stage of our daughter's life.”

 

Karen Jonz, Fs Rock. Photo: Luciana Faria

 

Is your skateboarding career over?

What happens to professional athletes when they’re pregnant? It seems like brands aren’t ready for this new phenomenon. Karen Jonz, professional skateboarder from Brazil, told us about her experience.

“I had sponsors and wanted to keep pushing my level up, but I didn't have a lot of references to look up to, so that was scary. It's not like a knee surgery that you know takes 8 months, you do your physio and you’re back on the game. When you get pregnant, people think you’re done. And that is so not true, unless it's what you decide to do.”

According to Karen, the rise in skate mums could also represent an opportunity for sponsors, even though they haven’t realised it yet.

“I feel like brands should be ready for mums and not see it as an obstacle for their skating career. This is a rare opportunity and can be communicated right. It fits skateboarding, not the other way around. Brands just don't see it that way, and they are losing opportunities. When I got pregnant, I was worried I wasn’t gonna be able to work, but rapidly found out that other brands outside of skating saw me as an opportunity, while in skating I was shut out.”

Laura Kackzmarec. Photo: Zeliha Cambaz

 

Find this interview and much more in Dolores Magazine issue 10.